Carving Your Own Path (D5 MA)

[Arali Zian]

Nineteen hours and thirty minutes ago, Arali entered the Enclave workshop.

Now, it is begun.

Arali sits in front of the meditation pool, her lightsaber in her lap. It feels new, unfamiliar, and yet somehow more right. But... what's she gonna do with it? Show off? Go forth as the stalwart hero of the land, like some Jedi out of fairy tales?

What am I doing...?

Things that seemed so important just days ago seem more and more like wasted potential. Was she wrong to accept her master's judgment? Should she have called him out years ago? Is it time to move on? To leave Nar Shaddaa?

And what about Master Thun?

She looks at her new blade. Longer than most, meant for two hands, with what look like rings of small, decorative jewels at the top and bottom, but are really a multi-vector drive array. An advantage she'll need if she's to best someone on the scale of Lorne in a fight. If... that's really her path?

Her confusion clouds the aura of the garden.

((Mechanics: 2eP+2eA+2eB+2eD 1 success, 1 advantage
, spending that one advantage on two-handed.))

[Dapper Dog]

"And what is this dearie?" the old human woman asks with a vibrant smile looking at the new lightsaber.

[Arali Zian]

The young twi'lek takes a moment to consider before answering. "A bad idea... or possibly an answer," she eventually concludes, unsure which is correct.

"I salvaged the drive emitters from a training drone and overclocked them, then hooked them up to a capacitor relay powered off excess energy bleed from a dual-crystal array, which paired with the extended hilt should give the option of increased striking speed and force, or the option of meeting a stronger foe with equal force for a fraction of a second."

She cracks open the casing, revealing a tiny second kyber crystal too small to sustain a blade on its own, mounted in line with her own. "The second emitter can adjust saber output such that instead of cutting and burning, the energy of impact is distributed through a resonant energy field, battering muscles and joints."

She closes her saber back up, "The hilt partly consists of marble from my home planet. It has a dampening effect that should reduce vibration on impact and help me maintain grip. Her name is Verdant, and she will stand no sacrifices...

"...and I don't know if I am worthy to wield her."

[Dapper Dog]

"You created it, why would you not be able to wield it?" she asks.

[Arali Zian]

"I have been told time and again, a Jedi must be ready to kill if necessary. By Master Lorne, many a time. Most recently, by Master Shan and Knight Cortess. Then, I see our brothers and sisters come to this moon not to keep peace, but to hunt, to seek violence when other paths are open. Compassion is universal. If I cannot love my enemy, then I have lost what I am fighting for; I only perpetuate the cycle.

"If I take up this blade, then it is a promise. And if I..." she clutches the blade tighter, looking to Master Thun, so much older than when she arrived nearly a decade ago, "If we are up to the task," she corrects, respecting the soul of the machine, "then... then I have been here too long."

Which would mean giving up her life here, her home, her friends. It would mean not being there for Master Thun when she needs help most.

Her vision begins to blur as another bubble comes up from her water lily, one of her last treasures from home. She cannot see the ripples in the pond.

[Dapper Dog]

Resmi says, “I understand but violence is a choice if you choose to keep your weapon sheathed then take that path. The only thing a Jedi need be is a servant of the people and ready to keep the peace.”

[Arali Zian]

"I think I like your Jedi order better than the one I've seen," Arali says sincerely, if somewhat bitter.

"Yet now, we have an entire generation who have known nothing but war, who embrace that as the highest purpose of the Jedi order. I am needed, but I would have no sway as I am." She slowly winds toward the conclusion she's been marching toward for years.

"Master Lorne will never accept me unless I prove myself a leader and a warrior. I... think I have to show him what that means to me... if that's even possible." Arguing with that man is like arguing with a damned mountain.

[Dapper Dog]

“Why would you need his approval, Arali? Master Lorne is a great Jedi, a bit too… aggressive and focused on what he does best but he is a Jedi. That is not the only path to walk, we have Librarians… scientists, doctors, and political aides to name a few within the Order. Our greatest weapon ahs always been our diplomacy and despite the war thee are those like Satele Shan who still try to utilize diplomacy before the fighting begins.”

She finishes her tea and then offers Arali some more before topping her own cup and says, “Being a Jedi is not so much a privilege but a calling. Every Jedi chooses this path, because they feel an obligation to the people around them. They work to better the Galaxy even in small ways.”

“You keep trying to prove yourself, and I can see why, but if you truly wish to be a Jedi then it is not won by a challenge it is showing your character and strength of compassion. You have that, dearie. That is what is important,” Master Thun finishes.

[Arali Zian]

Arali's mind races, and she ignores the tea.

That is not what she wanted to hear, but what was she expecting? 'You go, girl, kick his ass?'

On Nar Shaddaa, and in the fringe worlds, her standing as a washout hasn't hurt her. If anything, the freedom of movement and distance from the knighthood have helped her, but the rest of the order mostly dismisses her, ignores her. But that's not it.

Is it power? Influence? Respect?

No...

"He thinks... he thinks I failed him. Or he failed me. Or both. And... there are those who look down on him. A master who's never trained a padawan to knighthood. But I've learned so much from his strength, from his-" she nearly says 'passion,' but that's a taboo word among her own, "-resolve. If I can show him that I'm not the little girl he saved all those years ago, that he doesn't have to protect me anymore, then, then..." Then what?

She can't see anything anymore, and it isn't the tears. Years of pent up frustration reach out, clawing at the veil of time, searching for an answer.

[Dapper Dog]

Resmi says, "His failure to produce a successful Jedi is not your failing as a student. I am not sure why you take on that burden, perhaps he is just not a great teacher. One can be a great warrior and not know how to train other great warriors."

"I don't really understand what decision you are trying to make but you are not responsible for your Master's failings."

[Arali Zian]

"Master Lorne is a better teacher than he thinks he is," she defends. "Just... not at the lessons he thought he was teaching. He is a good and devoted man, who is true to himself, and to his purpose. And while trying to train great warriors, I think he taught us something more important."

She speaks not just of herself, but her brother Vatou's work as well.

"I wouldn't know the strength to accomplish all I have without him. I may even still be stranded on my home world without him." She has no doubt that she could have managed her parents' agricultural masterpiece long enough to live this long, even if no one came. "I want him to know that he isn't a failure. That he can let go."

Of more than just me... she thinks back to tales of her master's first padawan, and her frustrations continue to claw at the veil, creating figments. Delusions of some happy future where her master embraces her cheerfully as someone strong and independent. This is not truth. This is not the path. Just imaginings.

[Dapper Dog]

"You can't make someone realize they need to let go, they have to do so of their own volition, dearie," the older Jedi counters.

"That's a lesson that you can't teach someone."

[Arali Zian]

"There are many lessons that cannot be taught," Arali retorts. "But you can help someone learn. Or not. But either way, I have to try. I owe him that much."

The phantasms begin to branch off, to multiply into useless dreams, and Arali shuts herself off from the visions by force, swooning for the moment. When her sight returns, she's steadying herself against the edge of the pool.

[Dapper Dog]

Resmi says, "Do what you think is best."

[Arali Zian]

Arali looks to Master Thun, then back to the pool, suddenly feeling guilty.

"I'm sorry, I'm being hard-headed. You're trying to help, and I'm just... I suppose I get stubbornness honestly, too." She shakes her head.

"I think I see the path. I thought it was closed to me years ago, but now... I feel it is time."

[Dapper Dog]

"Doors always open, it's just finding the right key and if not pushing really hard," she says with a small shrug.

"Whatever path you choose, stay honest to yourself and you will find your way."

[Arali Zian]

"A wall is just a door you haven't hit hard enough yet," she paraphrases Master Lorne's teachings on terrain and strategy, then sighs.

She considers reaching out to the Force again, trying to see the way forward, but stops.

I don't have to.

"Thank you, Master Thun. I think I know the way, even if it blows up my face."

[Dapper Dog]

"The best lessons often tend to blow up up in our face, dearie," she responds with a chuckle.

"Though if that is literal please do so far from the enclave."

[Arali Zian]

Arali joins in the laugh, but at the last, she looks down at her lightsaber.

"I probably shouldn't tell you what all I had to in the name of power output."

She's confident in her design, but if this thing went boom... well, it would be quite the boom.

[Dapper Dog]

"Jedi love their lightsabers... Sith do too, it's one of the few things they can agree upon," she replies.

[Arali Zian]

"Ah, yes, clearly, the secret to peace. Let's all come together in our shared love of light...sa...bers..." The twi'lek's joke loses momentum half-way through, as she really considers it.

"How insane does the idea of a jointly run swordsmanship academy sound?"

[Dapper Dog]

"I don't think it would end well," Master Thun says honestly.

[Arali Zian]

"So about as well as every other attempt at peace so far," the twi'lek sighs, and sips her tea, finally starting to relax.

"Guess I'll have to get the dark lords of the Sith into quilting, then. I'll let you know how it goes."

[Dapper Dog]

"It's only impossible until it isn't," Resmi says calmly.