Well, This is Terrible [D10 MM]

[Luth Khalan]

She considers the question, frowns, opens her mouth, closes it, and finally says, "I've never had one."

[Niall Organa]

"Oh." Niall said, blinking. "I haven't had many. The most recent was... well, medical and bereavement ran together." He swallowed. "But... more than none."

He shook his head. "I would have to look up the regulations. But just from a legal standpoint, I'm sure you'd be owed a significant amount. From a moral one..." He smiled. "I think you've earned a rest."

[Luth Khalan]

She puts a hand back on his shoulder in support as he mentions bereavement leave. She smiled ruefully. "After two years in the field, enough back pay for a decent vacation, too." She pauses. "Though knowing some people, they'll count my training as vacation."

[Niall Organa]

Niall just nodded mutely, silent acknowledgement to her silent support.

He sat up a little, blinking. "I'll admit, I'm not entirely sure how training with Jedi would work. I imagine it's happened before, but not so often that I know of a time." He gave her a look, his grey eyes concerned. "But I think you need to take some time, whether anyone likes it or not. When I..." He trailed off. This might be a little difficult.

He turned to face her more fully, his body shifting. "When I was shot," He began gently, "-it took a little while for everything to turn back to normal. I could remember it all too well, and the memories would come to me at strange times. I think you know what I'm talking about." Indeed, she'd mentioned flashbacks. "But I had the time to adjust. And now it doesn't bother me anymore." He said, just a little too quickly. "Perhaps similar would be good for you."

[Luth Khalan]

She brows furrow and she closes her eyes tight at the thought of what she'd done to him, what it had put him through. Assuring her it was fine didn't work. At least she felt like she would never fully be fine. What she'd done would always be there. That scar on his chest he mentioned would always be there. All the rest of the dead she'd personally put in the ground - her allies - would never go away.

She covers her face and her shoulders shake, but she clenches her jaw to try not to make noise, at least. She'd murdered her allies. She'd injured her allies and given them trauma that wasn't gone even now. She'd betrayed the enemies she'd come to care about - one she'd come to love. Why am I still here?

[Niall Organa]

Niall was not normally given to displays of emotion, or physical comfort. And yet, he only hesitated for a bare moment before putting his arms around her. He would squeeze her gently, and if she leaned into his chest, she would hear the steady beating of his healthy heart.

"Luth, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." He said softly, his voice not far from her ear. He turned his head, careful not to let himself breath in the scent of her hair. "I got through it. Am getting through it. Whatever. Let me take that burden from you, at least."

[Luth Khalan]

She did lean in, burying her face in his chest, letting the fabric absorb silent tears. Her hands go around him and cling more tightly to him than his gentle hold on her, as if he was the lone rock above water in a stormy ocean. She listens to his heart for an otherwise silent while, releasing on hand to move it between them, over the wound, touching it gently again. "No... I'm sorry..." she murmurs, trying not to let her voice break. It sounds on the verge, though. "If I hadn't- I never wanted to hurt anyone, but I hurt everyone around me..." Her forehead rested at the notch where the breastbone and clavicle met, her head not far under his chin.

[Niall Organa]

Niall held her, letting her squeeze him. He could feel her hand on his chest, where his scar was. She can feel his heart beat just a tiny bit faster. He steadfastly keeps his head angled.

"I had help." Niall said. "Friends. Very dear friends." He smiled. "And someone I love." Now he did tilt his head downwards, so that he could look at her. "Luth... you don't have to do this alone." He said, his voice gentle. "If there's anything I can do to help, you only have to ask. Okay? Promise me that you will."

[Luth Khalan]

She doesn't look up immediately, and he does get some of the scent of her hair. Mainly it was just... her. Hard to put a finger on. The rest was smoke and flame from the previous night, a slight sweet smell, the barest bit of the dye. She rested her palm more fully against his chest, using the leverage to generate the energy to look up at him sadly. "I loved someone... and betrayed him. I told you... I just hurt everyone. If I ask you for help, if I rely on you, I'll hurt you, too." She closed her eyes. "Again."

[Niall Organa]

Niall was silent for a few moments. When he did speak, his voice was still soft. "Since my injury, I've been in firefights a few times. I even was hit once; just a graze. But I never hesitated, not even for a moment."

He smiled at her then, warmly. "I'll do it again. I'm willing to take the risk, if you'll let me. Okay?" He made his eyes stay on hers, refusing to let them drift to her lips.

[Luth Khalan]

"That's not the only way someone can be hurt. I betrayed people... It was for the Republic, but... I still betrayed them." Her eyebrows knit and she runs her teeth over her lips lightly. Ignoring the uptick in her own heartbeat, her ever so slightly tense breathing. "Are you really sure? I can't..." There were no guarantees. Even tomorrow wasn't guaranteed.

[Niall Organa]

Niall could feel the pull. The motion drew his eyes to her lips after all. And even if he wasn't aware of it, he could sense the other little signs she gave.

But while he wasn't exactly sure what he had with Aly, it was undeniable that they had something. And he would never, could never, betray her.

Niall leaned back, just a tiny bit, creating a space more symbolic than anything. "I'm sure." He said, smiling, his voice confident.

[Luth Khalan]

She looks up and searches his eyes, finding genuine confidence there. She smiles a little and nods, bringing her hands from him to wipe her eyes. "Okay... Thank you... for your confidence in me," she said once she was done. "I do need time... Whether anyone likes it or not. I wonder what I'll do with myself for that time... I've never not had either work or training."

[Niall Organa]

Gently, Niall disengaged. Wordlessly, he reached into his jacket, and pulled forth a fine blue handkerchief, which he handed to her.

"I don't suppose you have a talent for art?" He asked. "Any sort?"

[Luth Khalan]

She accepts it. "Sorry about all this... it must be an effect of coming home. Have to keep it together all the time undercover," she says, shaking her head. "Well... My mother taught me a lot of folk songs as a kid. I'm not a good singer, though."

[Niall Organa]

"Mmm. I was just asking because art is something that people do on Alderaan. It's something to do besides work or training." He said.

"Oh yes?" Niall said, his eyebrows going up invitingly. "That sounds nice." He waited, interested.