Be It Ever So Humble (D9, MN)

[Aphr Ahaya]

"The Jedj won't help me now. The witches keep themselves distant. And...I don't want help."

She turned to Galen, and smiled.

"Not anymore. I finally understand how to shape my fear, to use it as a strength. As a weapon. And in doing so, I have prevented my vision of our deaths, and saved many more lives by killing Ryssa. Now I can start protecting others, those that cannot protect themselves and those I care about. I just need to continue honing my skills, and using my sttengths and the Force to guide me."

[Galen Sol]

"You've discovered what your strengths are, then?" he smiled. "That's good. I told you you'd find them."

[Aphr Ahaya]

"I've found strength and focus, and I'm not as afraid of this weapon now" Aphr looked at the saber hilt in her hand "now I've used it on my own terms, although it still frightens me a little."

[Galen Sol]

"Fear is natural." he shrugged. "All emotions are and shouldn't be avoided. But, once you understand them and make peace with them, you can act reasonably in spite of them."

[Aphr Ahaya]

"They shouldn't be avoided, or suppressed" Aphr agreed "they exist, regardless if the Jedi try to claim otherwise. Not sure you can make peace with them either."

[Galen Sol]

"My understanding is that the Jedi once viewed it differently. Emotion, yet peace." he explained. "Emotions tend to create internal conflict. Fight or flight. Act or wait. Confront or avoid. Resolving those conflicts and making peace with those emotions make those decisions easier."

[Aphr Ahaya]

"It also makes you more like a droid" Aphr frowned "those emotions and reactions are the core of a being. It's also hard to do if you've not spent a lifetime doing it. Letting emotions drive me is what kept us alive today, there was no peaceful resolution, only stalling until someone bursts in or my vision would have come to pass."

[Galen Sol]

"I was stalling." he nodded. "But, I am certainly glad you acted when you did. What emotion were you acting on?"

[Aphr Ahaya]

"Fear and Anger, if I'm honest. Fear that I wouldn't be able to protect you like what happened at the Ackley, then anger that the bitch shot me when I thought I had disabled her weapons ability to target" Aphr rubbed her side where she had been hit "it worked though."

[Galen Sol]

"I did." he nodded. "But, the fear came from love, wanting to protect me, as did the anger, frustration that you might not be able to. Do you think focusing on that would have been enough?"

[Aphr Ahaya]

"My emotions helped guide me through. Made me stronger, so I could use a weapon like this with no training whatsoever" Aphr powered up the saber, the crimson glow standing out in the darker room "I was so afraid of this before. Now...I feel more confident when I hold it, even if the damage it does is terrifying."

[Galen Sol]

"You didn't answer my question." he shook his head. "Do you intend to always fight angry, then? To let that guide your decisions in combat? Do you think that will work in every situation? What if it doesn't?"


He reached into his backpack and took out a broken light saber, setting it on a table. "What if it keeps you in a fight you cannot win?"

[Aphr Ahaya]

Aphr powered down her saber, looking at the broken hilt for a few long moments before turning to Galen. "So what is the point you're making now I finally have a little confidence. That's I'm wrong? That I should assume I was lucky? I'm not going to charge into a fight. I don't want to fight, I want to help and protect. I used my emotions to guide me and we made it out alive, was I wrong to do so?" She was annoyed

[Galen Sol]

"You were magnificent tonight and I am beyond grateful for what you did." he assured her. "What I am saying is that fear and anger do not replace training and skill. When I fire my rifle, I do so as calmly as I can, to avoid letting an impulse hinder my aim or take me off target."

"I am not saying that you should be emotionless, either." he added. "But, I spent a long time being continually afraid. I was also always angry for quite a while. I don't want that for you."

[Aphr Ahaya]

"I know that" Aphr said with a frown "I never said emotion replaces skill. Before tonight, I was afraid to even try to learn it, this has given me confidence to try."

[Galen Sol]

"That's good." he nodded. "You are definitely ahead of me."

He looked over the broken hilt. "I found this in the wrekage of the crashed barge. I have no idea who it belongs to."

[Aphr Ahaya]

"Hmm..." Aphr examined the hilt "what are you going to do with it?"

[Galen Sol]

"I have no idea. I kind of want to keep it, though." he shrugged. "Of course, I don't know how to fix it or how to use it."

[Aphr Ahaya]

"I could likely find a fixer. Of course it's useless without the gem anyway, and depending whose saber it was it might be useless to anyone but the wielder" Aphr looked to Galen "I heard some saber makers make the saber around themselves. If you want I could take it and try to get it repaired?"

[Galen Sol]

"It has a gem." he loosened a panel, revealing a yellow crystal. "I'd like to fix it, but I wonder if that's something I should do myself."

[Aphr Ahaya]

"Oh!" Aphr looked at the gem "well, that's good at least. It took me two attempts even with guidance to make one...they're really quite difficult."

[Galen Sol]

"Do you know anyone who could guide me?" he asked.

[Aphr Ahaya]

"Well...there's the Sith Lord that helped me. I know a Jedi friend as well who is good with this kind of thing as well, a Baesal Zyn, but I don't want her to think she's only wanted for her skills like some others have done" Aphr frowned slightly

[Galen Sol]

"I can ask a Jedi." he shrugged. "I'm not sure how they would feel about me acquiring one like this. I am less sure about the Sith. There were a lot of them converging on the crash site and the news suggested there were some on board. It may belong to one of them."

[Aphr Ahaya]

"It might be touched by darkness then, gem and all" Aphr studied it more "I'd be certain the Jedi won't like you looting a Siths saber. They might say to destroy it, which would be a waste. Why do you want to fix it?"